this is one of those days..

that i feel in real need of a warm comforting hug when i get home from work.

in singapore, when school used to give me shit, going home and cuddling my kitty would give me that kinda pick-me-up..and make me feel all warm and happy again.

over here, blogging is my only catharsis. i have a deep deep yearning for my kitty to be with me now.

sometimes, i don't know why things just go so wrong...and i just spent the entire day scrutinizing what on earth was the matter with myself...that i'd always do things that negate my own efforts, and worse still negate others' efforts. that is like one of the worst feelings one could ever feel.

what makes one of the worst feelings even worse, is that it's not the first time you've done this to others, and especially to someone whom u really do not want to disappoint.

if this is gonna be the way i'll be like in future when i work, ggxx to me. the more careful i try to be, the worse things end up. but mistakes still happen when i try and go about things normally.

is this honestly what i'm worth? to just be good at mugging and getting the results and nothing more? lol perhaps i can't even be a zookeeper or a vet i'd kill my own animals. lol.

and it is not the best of ego boosters when u are with the juggernaut of all elites who picks out your mistake.

and then worse things happen..and for some reason i feel that like 80% of it is like my fault for not doing a Bostwick on it in the first place. zomg my mental and emotional state has been on serious overdrive today.

maybe He is being a strict disciplinarian.. i must say i have not been keeping my promise very well at all. perhaps that's why everything seems to be going wrong.

on a slightly brighter note, looking at the many stars in the sky while taking out the rubbish today did bring me a little comfort.